The number one biggest mistake dog owners can make with their dogs is to treat them like humans. The human race is such a kind, compassionate species that we tend to look at our canine companions as little humans. When in reality, they are canines and have a very different thought process. This is what differentiates mankind from other species in pack societies; there must be a specific order, from the leader on down to the last follower. Everyone has a place. The leaders are the strength of the pack. The followers need the leader to guide them. This primal instinct keeps the pack secure and happy.
Dogs instinctually need rules they must follow, and limits to what they are allowed to do. When dogs live with humans, the humans become the dog's pack. For the relationship to succeed, humans must become the dogs pack leader. The mistake is made when the humans in the pack only give the dog love, and the other factors are overlooked. To a dog, constant affection without rules and limits goes against every grain in a dog's instinct, as affectionate love is a human trait, not a canine trait. Affection does not make dogs happy, satisfying their instincts make them happy. You need to provide a proper emotional stability in order to achieve this, and showing you have an orderly pack with rules to follow is what the dog needs. Giving your dog affection is important for the human, and enjoyed by the dog, but must be done at the correct time.
A dog is an animal and does not possess the same reasoning skills as humans. They are simple creatures with instincts, and limited emotions. They do not premeditate; do not plan ahead. They live for whatever is happening at the moment. When a human shares its affection with a dog who is in any other state of mind but a calm, submissive one, (for example aggression, obsession, shyness, skittishness, fear or hyper activeness and so on...) and you give them a hug or pat them on the head and tell them it is ok, it is comforting to the human, but feeds into that state of mind for the dog making it more intense. While a human feels they are comforting a dog, the dog sees it as the human being weak. If your dog has a traumatic experience and you show them affection during that time trying to comfort them, rather than letting them work it out in his own mind, you leave them stuck in that state of mind. Later when your dog faces this traumatic situation again, you then comfort the dog, intensifying the situation even more. You are creating the problem. Dogs do not see comfort and affection in the same way we humans see it.
On the same note: When a dog is constantly leaning on you, putting his paw on you, using his nose to make you pet them, and always feeling the need to be touching you in some way, this is not your dog loving you, it is your dog displaying dominate behaviors. In the dog world, space is respect. A dog that is constantly nudging you and leaning on you, is not only disrespecting you, they are being the alpha dog.
Here is a video clip that shows a perfect example of humans giving a dog affection at the wrong time. This is a result of many years of being treated like a human. The dog is terrified of the thunder and fireworks she hears outside. This dog is in a weak state of mind. The humans in this clip are comforting the dog in a way humans understand, but not in a way a dog can understand. The comfort means two different things to the human and the dog. The dog sees it as everyone around her being weaker than she is. For a dog to be in a weak state of mind, then be surrounded by pack members who are in an even weaker state of mind, well this really messes up a dogs psyche and intensifies her fear. Watch the clip. While watching keep in mind how the humans feel they are comforting, and how the dog's instincts do not see it that way
